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The Story

The First Chapter – 2009

The wife and I were married last year and we are eager to start a family.  We are both early career academics, her in medicine (32) and me in social sciences (31).  Early in our relationship it became clear that we wanted to have a family together, but that while I was hoping to have kids, she wanted to HAVE kids.  Perfect!  So, this summer we selected a donor and got things going.  Our first challenge (aside from the obvious fact that I have no sperm) is that my wife doesn’t ovulate.  Probably due to many years as a serious runner and cyclist, she was diagnosed with hypothalamic amenorreah.  Our RE seems to think that this is not a significant obstacle and that with FSH injections we will get the egg that we’re looking for.  I hope he’s right.

The Second Chapter – 2011

Since starting this blog our lives have changed in lots of exciting ways.  My wife (finally) finished her medical training and moved us to a new city where she took her first university job.  A few weeks into that job our beautiful son Yogi was born and I am lucky enough to have left my career to stay home and care for my family.  This summer we started to get serious about #2 and we’re hoping to make Yogi a big brother next year.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. Sunday August 9, 2009 9:10 pm

    Oh goodness, questions! The biggest being why her and not you? Also, how did you find your donor? Congratulations on the new blog, too. I’m very excited and grateful.

    • Me permalink*
      Monday August 10, 2009 11:40 am

      Hi! Everyone is surprised to find out that the wife will be carrying and not me. I guess bc I am more traditionally feminine. The decision was actually really easy for us bc she actually wants the experience of being pregnant and giving birth and I really don’t. I’ve always wanted to have kids and have a family, but I always thought of actually having the baby as the flaw in the design. I would do it, but it’s not something I’m driven to do. It violates gendered expectations, but it actually makes a lot of sense given our personalities. She is a much more physical/in her body kind of person, and I am much more of an imaginative/in my head kind of girl. If I’ve read a book about skydiving, I feel like I’ve done it myself. My wife wants to actually GO skydiving. So…. it works.

      The donor issue took much longer to resolve. It’s something we’ve talked about for a few years. We considered two guys that we knew, but when we really approached the issue with each of them and worked through the implications, we decided that it made more sense for us to have an unknown donor. Then, it was a matter of researching banks and we want with CA Cryobank. In talking with other people and our RE, they just seemed like the best folks. After that, we spent WAY.TOO.LONG reading all of the donor profiles before we picked our guy.

  2. Saturday January 2, 2010 10:54 pm

    Congrats on the BFP!!! I look forward to following your baby journey!

  3. Friday March 12, 2010 12:43 pm

    Just wanted to say hello! I stumbled on your blog today and am amazed because: my partner and I are due just a couple weeks before you guys, AND, we are also calling the kiddo Bean. I look forward to reading more about your Bean adventures.

  4. Monday April 19, 2010 2:51 pm

    I also wanted to stop in and say hello. I just stumbled over from Shroedinger’s Womb- fantastic blogging!

  5. Tuesday December 14, 2010 6:13 pm

    LOVE reading your story! And the choice makes total sense to me … gender roles are meant to be challenged anyhow. =)

  6. Thursday September 15, 2011 8:43 am

    Happy BFP! Just wanted to let you know that I’m adding you all to my blog list. 🙂

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