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I Wasn’t Expecting That….

Sunday August 29, 2010

This afternoon, my Dad called.  My Dad never calls.  I talk to him on the phone, but only when my Mom passes it to him.  He’s not a phone initiator.

Hearing him on the other end of the line was surprise enough, but the quality of his voice was even more of a surprise.  I could tell he had something significant to say and something that he was excited about.  When he said “We talked to your grandfather today” I almost stopped breathing.

Let me rewind the tape a bit.

You can sum up my Dad’s family in two words.  Southern Baptist.  Hyper conservative and deeply religious.  My aunt married a preacher and every male in the family (with the exception of my Dad) is a deacon in their church.  One of my cousins took his two (very) young children and his wife around the world to bring Christianity to a country in the former Soviet Union.  Yeah.  They are still living there.

While I have been out to my Mom’s crazy Catholic family for years, not a word has been said to anyone in my Dad’s family.  Not surprisingly, I haven’t been close with any of them since I was a kid.  During the one major conversation that I have had with my Dad about this issue, I let him know that it was his call about when and what to share with his family.  They live in another state and I don’t have meaningful relationships with any of them, so this worked just fine for me.

For the last 10 years or so, I have assumed that the cat would be out of the bag when my grandfather passed away.  He has been in poor health for years, but he makes it through obstacle after obstacle.  Although I wasn’t sure how it would work out as my parents live in the same town as 90% of these relatives, I couldn’t tell that they had any plans to tell any of them about Yogi.  They have no idea that we were married or that we were trying to get pregnant and certainly not that we were actually expecting.

So….. imagine my surprise when 14 days after Yogi arrived, my Dad calls to tell me that he spent the weekend telling the whole family.  Everyone.  I think he even emailed the missionaries.  According to him, everyone is excited about the baby and glad to hear that I’m happy.  I’m guessing this is a “love the sinner, hate the sin” kind of response, but it’s better than other things I could imagine.

Just another indication that having a baby is one crazy experience.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Monday August 30, 2010 11:45 am

    My family is Southern Baptist too, including the preacher for a grandfather and uncle, and all the male deacons, so I know exactly how you feel. I am hoping they figure things out through Facebook, since I don’t really want to tell them. My parents are happy for me, but the rest of them…… well, I don’t know. I’ll let someone else handle that 🙂

  2. Monday August 30, 2010 2:43 pm

    That’s so awesome!

    I’m hoping for the same kind of reaction from my hyper-religious Muslim family if we ever finally get pregnant. That would, for me, include my parents and both sets of extended families minus a handful of cousins who I’m close to.

  3. liz and andrea permalink
    Monday August 30, 2010 11:39 pm

    You sound like me when it comes to expectations from hyper religious people. I automatically assume that they are going to react badly and judge me. however, my religious family have done very well accepting my “non traditional” family. I guess its a reminder that there are some people out there that leave the judging to a higher power. Glad you had such a positive response!

  4. Tuesday August 31, 2010 11:05 am

    That’s great news! I’m familiar with ‘love the sinner hate the sin’ from some of my own family and it’s weird. It’s weird to have people be so nice to you even though you know when they go home they’re going to initiate the international prayer circle to try and save you. But, yes, it beats the alternative. And maybe a couple of minds will start to inch towards change.

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