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The Obessive Pull is SO Strong!

Wednesday December 23, 2009

Since I’ve been off work this week, keeping myself occupied has been a full-time job.  If I pause for even a moment, all I can hear in my head is BABY, BABY, TESTING, BABY on a loop.  It’s enough to drive a person crazier than they already are.  Since Monday, I have cleaned the entire house, washed everything we own, made three trips to the grocery, completed my Christmas shopping, wrapped all gifts.  I think that’s it.  Now it is 10am on testing morning and there is nothing I can do to distract myself.  I can’t work on classes, I can’t focus enough to read, I can’t even listen to the Today show.  All I can think about is ARE WE PREGNANT? ARE WE PREGNANT? ARE WE PREGNANT?.  This is intermingled with PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.  It’s pretty pathetic, but it’s where I am.  I’m not fighting it anymore.  I’m giving myself over to the pull.


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