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One or Two??

Sunday December 13, 2009

That is the big question around here these days.  At the beginning of this process we were VERY clear about taking the most conservative approach possible.  Conservative with respect to the likelihood of multiples.  In fact, we have been “against medical advice” kind of conservative.  As a physician herself AND being the daughter of an OB, my wife has WAY TOO MUCH information about the challenges of multiples.  From both the pregnancy and the life outcome perspective.  My father-in-law actually suggested at the beginning of this process that we check the triplet rate for the RE we are using.  His exact words were “Twins are hard, but now triplets?  Your marriage will be over.”  Ummm….. gulp.  In fact, I’d like to have a word with whoever said that knowledge was power.  In this case, I’m not so sure.  As a result of all of this kind of thinking, we elected to have a follicle reduction that left only one follicle prior to our first IUI.  We went on to transfer one blastocyst for our fresh IVF cycle and again only one blastocyst for the last frozen cycle.  If you read this blog, you know where all of that conservatism has gotten us.  NOT PREGNANT!!!

Now here we are in December and the question is finally back on the table.  My position has remain  unchanged.  I (perhaps bc I am not burdened by any of that claustrophobic data) am not afraid of twins.  We have the resources, we have the love and I’m sure we can do it.  My wife is worried about the increased risk of all sorts of troubles, but I say (with ignorant confidence) “We can handle whatever we get and find a way to be grateful for it”.

If anyone is reading this, I would love to hear how you made/are making this decision.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Sunday December 13, 2009 3:31 pm

    No advice but I am certain that you could handle whatever you were given!

  2. Sunday December 13, 2009 4:23 pm

    Well, I can only speak from our experience. We were dead set against transferring two until…we changed our minds. Yes, we knew our odds would increase and we knew there could be complications and I for one, was terrified of carrying twins with my petite frame.
    But, in the end, we decided we wanted the absolute BEST and HIGHEST chance possible of getting pregnant (without going crazy, not three embryos or something).
    I am also a firm believer that the universe only gives you what you can handle (to which my wife said, “Yeah, but you can handle a lot…) and put in out there.
    I guess the universe knew I could handle twins cuz that’s what I got.
    It has been a really easy pregnancy in my view (I don’t have anything to compare it to, except other bloggers experiences). Yes, it’s getting uncomfortable and things could change on a dime, but so far, so good.
    I’m so happy with our decision and don’t regret it for minute.
    I think sometimes, all of the ‘information’ out there won’t help you with a decision like this and in the end it comes from the gut.
    Good Luck with your choice.

  3. Monday December 14, 2009 12:27 pm

    This is a conversation we have over and over again around here. My take, after two and a half years on the blogs, is that there is no rhyme or reason to it. I’ve seen it go every which way: women transfer two and get none, women transfer two and get one, women transfer two and get two. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of pattern or sense to it (like all things ttc) so I think it’s just a matter of leaving it up to fate. When we started ttc (in 2007) I was DEAD SET against twins. Now, I’ll take whatever I can get. Again, for me it was just a matter of realizing that I really had no control. I think the whole “how many do you put back” decision gives us the illusion that we have more control over this than we actually do.

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